How To Get Rich

richie rich

1) The easiest way to get rich is to be born in to it.  If you are reading this and you are no rich then it is too late for you and you will have to get rich another way.

2) Marrying well.  It worked well for Prince Philip and not so well for Anna Nicole  Smith

3) Buy land in places that people like me are afraid to visit.  Who would have thought that the farmer’s fields surrounding every major North American city would one day be worth millions to developers?  Find a country that is still cheap because it is still a bit of an undeveloped political and economic mess but is open to foreign  ownership and do some buying.

4) Winning the lottery.  There is a married couple in Virginia who won a total of $2,050,000 in 3 separate lotteries recently.

5) Inventing the wheel.  Not exactly the wheel because that has already been done but something equally useful and wanted like the cigarette lighter or Cabbage Patch Kid.

6) Live beneath your means.  This does not mean keeping your family of 5 in a 1 bedroom apartment because the rent is cheap.  Set a generous savings amount from every pay cheque and invest it somewhere productive but reasonably safe and you will get to rich eventually.

7) Make a sex tape.  This worked for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.

8) Relentlessly push your children to succeed then sponge off them for the rest of your life.  That Kardashian mom is probably the one who leaked Kim’s sex tape and for the ball rolling on the family’s wealth building popularity.

9) Don’t have kids and pets.  This will not make you a millionaire but it will free up possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars for investing and if you don’t screw it up that will make you a millionaire.  My dog does not think this is a good idea.

10) This is that one elusive idea that I need to make myself rich.  When I come up with it I will let you know.

rich-woman-bathing-in-dollars

 

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13 Responses to How To Get Rich

  1. debt debs says:

    I like how you think! You give such practical information on how to get rich. Sad but true.

    • janesavers says:

      I should have added drug king pin as a member of an international drug cartel as a way to get rich quickly too.

  2. Riky N says:

    Thanks for the smile. This post made my morning.

    P.S. My plan is to go back in time and start a savings account.

    • janesavers says:

      Maybe I need a time machine to go back in time and kick myself in the butt before I make bad financial decisions.

      • Riky N says:

        Nah. Those “bad” financial decisions got you to start working on your own money puzzle. Without that you might have ended up being spoiled into not caring about your finances solely because you did not make those choices in the first place.

  3. These all sounds completely reasonable… :)

    I’m with Riky – I’d go back in time, and perfectly time the market just before the bubbles burst. That would make a beautiful portfolio. Oh, and I’d use my lottery winnings to fund it.

    • janesavers says:

      I would start by going back and stopping myself from buying those purple overalls in grade 12 then I would put all my cash in to Apple. I would have sold it all last year and I would be on easy street.

  4. Ha- funny!!! It does make me sick, though, watching these money-grubbing parents push their kids into fame and then sponging off of them. I wanna smack ‘em one.

  5. Number 3 rocks! I have often wanted to toy around with the idea of buying up land in undesirable places waiting for the day for it to blow up in value. Case in point, I live in northern Canada where property is dirt cheap. Since it’s -50 C in the heart of winter, few people want to stick around but, if global warming has anything to say about it I might have some nice investments on hand.

    • janesavers says:

      Mining rights in Canada’s north might be a good investment. As the world warms up the north will be easier to mine and there might be bargains there.

      There are good bargains in Detroit too. If that city ever makes a comeback the people who have snapped up properties will be sitting pretty.

  6. Daisy says:

    THREE separate lotteries?! That’s nuts! I can’t even imagine winning one lottery, let alone three. Lucky people. A group of people that work for my company won $1M in the lottery recently, but since there were so many of them they each got $60,000. Still not bad. If the lottery fails, you’re right, there’s always a sex tape to be made :)

    • janesavers says:

      $60,000 would make a major difference in my life and I would love it. I have always thought that if you knew someone who wins a lottery it takes away from your lottery luck. There is only so much luck to go around and it doesn’t usually come in clusters (except for that couple that won three separate lotteries).

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